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Words of advice for the married man.


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So...I got married on Saturday.

Over the past three months or so, I've been gathering advice from happily and unhappily married folks on what they do or did not do to make their relationship work. I thought I'd open that up to here, where maybe some of youse guys might give some advice too, especially about baseball time.

What've you got?

--Eric

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Congratulations Eric :). I've been married over 15 years, happily I might add. So he's my advice.

1) Your wife is always right

2) When your wife is wrong, see statment 1)

3) Find things you both can do and enjoy together

4) Just as importaint, find things you can do apart. No matter how much you love each other, you still need time on your own.

5) Learn to pick your battles, don't waste time auguing over little stuff, save that for when it really matters.

6) Don't have children too soon, learn to live with each other before bringing kids into your life. Get a dog or a cat and see how that goes first.

7) Don't laugh at #6), it's truer then most people realize until it's too late.

8.) Everything changes, and your wife and you are no exception, try and grow and/or change together.

9) Everything else you both will have to figure out together, no two marragies are the same. What works for one doesn't work in another. Listion to others advice, but follow your own instincts.

Best of luck to you and your wife :)

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Congratulations Eric :). I've been married over 15 years, happily I might add. So he's my advice.

1) Your wife is always right

2) When your wife is wrong, see statment 1)

3) IMPORTANT: Find things you both can do and enjoy together

4) Just as importaint, find things you can do apart. No matter how much you love each other, you still need time on your own.

5) Learn to pick your battles, don't waste time auguing over little stuff, save that for when it really matters.

6) Don't have children too soon, learn to live with each other before bringing kids into your life. Get a dog or a cat and see how that goes first.

9) Everything else you both will have to figure out together, no two marragies are the same. What works for one doesn't work in another. Listion to others advice, but follow your own instincts.

Best of luck to you and your wife :)

Re read this above.

You two should write a list of standards out that you both agree on. These are standards that you both should try to live up to from here on out. Review that once a month together, after reviewing them talk about them together, and see what needs to be worked on.

Example of what is on ours:

-We will not raise our voice at each other when disagreeing (or something like that).

-We will always get together once a week to spend time together so that we will always have a hot date.

Contrarily, I have one day a week to myself (Friday nights, I go off my one of my friends, brothers, or stay home and play games). It is important to make sure you spend time together and get time away as well. You should both respect each other's time/space etc.

-Do not let anyone in the house that is of the opposite sex unless the spouse is there also. This includes family, the mailman, friends, UPS delivery person, whatever.

Whatever you did to get this girl is how you should act to keep her. Did you always dress up when taking her out? 10 years down the road make sure you continue that instead of just letting yourself go. As my pastor says, the man shouldn't be married to a hag and the woman shouldn't be married to a slob, but then again it is different if you both let yourself go.

Other things:

-Make sure she is your best friend and not some other dude.

-Do not talk bad about her in front of anyone at all period.

-She should know that you dont' talk bad about her and she should do the same.

-Don't laugh at those marriage jokes that people tell. Or the inlaw jokes. My inlaws tell inlaw jokes (just to be funny) and I quickly correct them, reminding them that they wouldn't want me to hee hee haw haw over jokes about my inlaws (themselves).

-Re: affection, never say no to eachother unless you're fasting or are sick (not as in, sick of eachother).

-Pray for eachother.

-How the woman is always right: As Christ died for you and became your sin, took on the punishment for your sin, so that he could make your relationship with Him right, remember he became wrong. So, when you are right when you two are arguing, "become wrong", get things right, because it doesn't matter if you win an argument. Win your wife over. In the end, she means more than winning in a situation.

-If you believe that men are to be the head of the household, remember, you make decisions WITH her. Listen to her opinions on the decisions you have to make for them both.

-Stay out of debt. Do not purchase furniture or what not on credit. No holiday gifts on credit either. You either have the $ or not. "When your outcome is more than your income, your upkeep will become your downfall"-Bro. Burman Cape Junior.

-Remove the word "divorce" from your vocabulary. Don't use the word. Ever. People get in arguments and fight and then one spouse will say to the other "Oh yeah well I'm getting a divorce!" That puts the other spouse in fear. Then if that spouse that lives in that fear gets tired of hearing such a thing when they argue, he/she may begin to use that threat as well. Then eventually one spouse may feel that they ought to take it that one step further and proceed. Just never use that phrase. This is advice for you both.

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good advice Mo...I'd add the old cliche - "don't goto bed mad at each other". you'll learn quickly that women hold a grudge adn remember things far longer than you will.

Oh dang I did forget that one. word for word. It is on our standards though.

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