Yankee4Life

This game wasn't made to be used by a PS4 controller.

Enjoy yourself, have plenty to read on the flight and don't go in the water (sharks).

Updated to 6-7 ...Last week a Danish radio host killed a baby rabbit by hitting it with a bicycle pump while live on the air because he wanted to show the hypocrisy of animal lovers. Talk about being a real shock-jock. The guy's point was that the people that say they are concerned about animal welfare are the same people who are not concerned about how animals are killed for their dining room tables. You know something? Maybe the man has a point here but I think I would have found another way to say it without killing a bunny. ...A thirty-five foot deep and eighty-foot wide sinkhole opened up on a Missouri golf course last week and while thankfully no one was hurt it did not stop a whole bunch of golfers from getting mad just the same. That's because none of them couldn't agree where to play the ball if it landed in there because none of them wanted to go in there to try to hit it out. ...On Michael Kay's radio show last Monday they were talking about Robinson Cano and his apparent unhappiness in playing in Seattle and if any of what they were talking about is true then as lazy as Cano is it in no way compares to how dumb he is. He's upset because there is a lack of a Dominican population in Seattle and because Seattle is located in the upper northwest of the United States their chartered plane rides are longer than any other team in the league. Don't you think he would have known this before signing that contract? I mean what did Jay-Z do, bring in a couple of dozen Dominicans and let them loose in Seattle just to give Cano the impression that he wasn't alone there. And he spent nine years as a member of the Yankees. He should have known how long the flights were to get to and leave the city of Seattle. What did he think, the planes were faster for the home team? Can you imagine how good this guy would be if he had a brain? ...This is kind of hard to believe but when the Buffalo Bills and Jacksonville Jaguars play in London on October 25th the game is going to be globally streamed for free live on Yahoo. Maybe that's a little unfair because the NFL is not as cheap as major league baseball. They just get the worst headlines. Something like this would have been a good idea when baseball's opening series was played in Australia in March but if the fans are in line to get something free baseball will find a way to charge them for it. ...At least Josh Hamilton gave the Rangers one good week. He sat out last week for what the team is calling “tightness in his lower half.” That's what happens when you try to lift up four pitchers of beer at the same time. ...The family of the victim who was fatally shot by members of Boston's Joint Terrorism Task Force last week are upset because they opened fire on him. What else did they think would happen when the guy kept on coming at the police with the knife in his hand and wouldn't drop it even though he was told to over and over again? The Boston police aren't playing around. They're still upset at what those two Muslim brothers did to the Boston Marathon a couple of years ago and if anyone thought they were going to negotiate with another one of these animals has another think coming. ...Either they did not read the papers or they did not care but voters in Pittsburgh voted in a councilwoman who died earlier last month over her opponent who as of this writing is still currently alive. This woman was so good at her job that the voters thought she could do a better job six feet under than the other woman that ran against her. I just hope no one expects her to make a speech any time soon. ...Johnny Manziel was staying in a Dallas hotel last week for a golf tournament when an eighteen-year-old fan started harassing him. It was obvious that he was a Browns fan because no other fans in the NFL hate Manziel more than Cleveland fans and the only way they'll consider letting up on him is if the Browns manage to dump him off on someone dumber than they are and there is little chance of that happening since Buffalo seems set at quarterback right now. The guy wouldn't let up on his comments about him and Manziel finally heard enough and hurled a water bottle at him. At least he tried. Before he got the pass off he was tackled by one of the hotel's staff for a loss. No matter where he goes he can't get protection. ...A lawyer from Kenya has offered President Obama fifty cows, seventy sheep and thirty goats in exchange for his sixteen-year-old daughter Malia's hand in marriage. Really, what is this guy thinking? Where are you going to house all those animals at the White House? I hope this guy has a back-up plan because the only way he's going to get Malia in his house is if he downloads a picture of her from the internet. ...Now if this same guy was interested in Kendall or Kylie Jenner he could have had either one of them and saved all his livestock for himself. All he would have had to agree on was to let Kris Jenner film the wedding for their reality show and he would have been all set. ..BINGO in Florida for senior citizens is very important. It's really all they do. It's not like they can spend their time going to Rays or Marlins games because when you get to be that age you tend to nod off easily and you don't want to risk having a ball hit you. That's why Bingo parlors are jam-packed. One day last week an eighty-two-year-old man went to try his luck at winning some money and when he got to the Bingo hall he found that his favorite seat was already occupied by an eighty-eight-year-old woman and what's worse is that she had no plans on giving it up any time soon. The guy then stormed out of the place and proceeded to grab an ice pick where he then punctured all four tires of the woman's car. The younger senior citizen was arrested for criminal mischief and was later freed on a five hundred dollar bond. When the judge asked him why he did what he did the guy replied that he "didn't like pushy old people." ...I have no sympathy at all for the Muslim woman who was denied an unopened can of Diet Coke on a United Airlines flight. The woman complained that for hygienic reasons she wanted an unopened can but was told that she could not have one but later on saw a flight attendant hand an unopened can of beer to another passenger. When she saw that she asked why she wasn't allowed to have her opened can and she said she was told that unopened cans could be used as weapons on the plane. At least that's what she said she was told. Wether she was or not is irrelevant. I'll be more compassionate towards the feelings of Muslims once they stop slaughtering people around them. ...Appearances are deceiving, Dept: An animal control worker in Michigan was called to a home because of a report that a tiger was on the driveway of a vacant home. Sure enough, when he arrived there it was. So he grabbed a pole and a shield for himself and called the police for backup. Had he looked closer he would have found that he could have saved himself a call because the tiger, although very life-like, was only a stuffed animal. That meant when the police arrived they did not have to shoot it. He may be a little embarrassed at what happened but at the same time he should consider himself lucky because if a tiger wants to get at you a pole and a shield is only going to temporarily stop it. When I first moved in my house back in 1996 the neighbors across the way from me had a ceramic black Labrador retriever on their porch for reasons known only to themselves. That damned thing looked life-like too and it had me fooled for awhile until I noticed after a period of time that it never moved once from where it was. Finally I asked our mailman about it and he told me that the dog statue has been there for as long as he was doing his route and that the people got it at a flea market. Well, some years went by and the same mailman took a few weeks off in the summer and we had a substitute carrier when he was gone. When he came back from his vacation he told me that the guy who did his route while he was gone did not deliver any mail to that house during his first week off because he thought the people had their dog loose on the porch. ...I bet that three hundred pound pitcher from Lewis-Clark State in Florida would not mind wearing those old wool uniforms while out on the mound because at least those make you look a little bit better then those double-knit polyester ones. But you know what? The guy's doing the job and is having fun playing ball. Can't fault him for that. ...Memo to the Boston Red Sox: Junior Lake of the Cubs hit a home run against the Marlins and as he was rounding third base he gestured to the Miami dugout and put his finger to his lips for them to be quiet. Never mind that the Cubs were still losing by four runs at the time, he still did it. Now that's the kind of player you want on your team. He'd fit right in with Hanley Ramirez and Mookie Betts. ...If you have not seen the picture of Bruce Jenner dressed as a woman on the July cover of Vanity Fair and calling himself Caitlyn Jenner you're going to have to do your own search for it because there's no way I am posting it here. The magazine is not even out yet but the media is already scouring posts and tweets for anything they think is controversial about it and Drake Bell is the first guy they set their sights on. Bell, after looking at Jenner's picture tweeted "Sorry, still calling you Bruce." No more, no less. That was it. But it was enough for the PC police to label what he wrote as "transphobic" and while I am not sure exactly what that means it was enough for Bell to quickly delete what he wrote. I don't blame him. You get those people after you and they don't let up. That is why I don't believe for one minute all the people that say they support him in what he's doing. You got to wonder how many have said it just to have the media leave them alone. Gone are the days of free and honest opinions. And it happened right in front of our eyes. ...By the way I am still calling the SOB Bruce too. ...I had a free trial of Hulu last month so I was watching some shows that I haven't seen in years. Some of you may remember a show called Good Times and some of you may not. It was only on about five years and towards the end of the show's run a young Janet Jackson was one of the regulars on it. Anyways, there's a point to this. After watching a couple of episodes I began to notice that the late Esther Rolle, who played the mother on the show, looked like David Ortiz. Proof? Here you go. Oh hell yeah.

Ron Guidry Although Ron Guidry won over 20 games three times in his career, he is remembered for having one of the greatest single seasons ever. He was 25-3 with a 1.74 ERA in 1978, won the Cy Young award unanimously, and finished second to Boston's Jim Rice in AL MVP voting. Guidry set club records that year in strikeouts (248) and consecutive wins at the start of a season (13). He called his Yankee-record 18 strikeouts against California on June 17 of that season "perhaps my greatest single thrill." He started the AL East playoff game on October 2, 1978 against Boston and won 5-4 in what was "probably the most tension-packed game I ever played in." Guidry was named TSN Player of the Year and Man of the Year and the Associated Press 's Male Athlete of the Year, and he made every all-star team. His nine shutouts tied Babe Ruth's AL record for a lefthander. During the 1970s, Yankee management made a policy of acquiring pitchers through trades and free agent signings. As a result, Guidry did not find a regular place in the Yankee rotation until 1977, when he was 26 years old. Even then, there were those who felt that the 5'11" 160-lb lefty was too small to pitch effectively and last in the major leagues. Guidry dispelled the notion by going 16-7 that year and perfecting the wicked slider that became his bread and butter pitch. He went on to lead the majors in victories from 1977 through 1987 with 168, posting records of 18-8 (1979), 21-9 (1983), and 22-6 (1985). He is fourth on the all-time Yankee victory list (170), second in strikeouts (1,778), sixth in games and innings, and tied for sixth in shutouts (26). Guidry compiled a 5-2 postseason record, 3-1 in World Series play. Guidry's success and durability were attributable in part to the fact that he was an outstanding athlete. He won five straight Gold Glove awards (1982-1986) and was twice used briefly in the outfield. Guidry was slow to recover from elbow surgery following the 1988 season, and he started 1989 on the disabled list before beginning a rehabilitation assignment in June at Triple-A. When he didn't impress the Yankee management with his performance at Columbus, he retired from baseball on July 12, 1989.

This thread has gone completely off topic from what it was supposed to be about.

No, this is a new one on me.

​So what? That doesn't mean a thing. All that means is that the last post was a few months back. All threads are still open unless they are locked and when they are locked that means you can't post in them. There's not a lot of threads like that though. Anyway, don't worry about it. This is not a huge problem. From now on you'll know to post your request/question/comment in one thread. No big deal.

​There was no reason to make this request in two different threads.

Kershaw's face looks exactly the way it was after he gave up that home run to Madison Bumgarner.

​You install this patch with TiT. Install in the same directory as Mvp 15.

​That's right. I'm not going to guess. Since he's brand new he could be talking about any mod. He could be talking about installing Mvp 15 or some new portraits or stadiums or whatever. Or he could be talking about the EA patches. I don't know. That's why I said I am not going to spend any time guessing to what he wants until he gets back here. Can you understand this or should I try to look for a funny picture to include in my post to get my point across? I don't mind helping the guy but I want to know what I am helping him with first. And by the way since he posted this in the Mvp area there's a good chance he is not talking about 2k12 here.

You guys are assuming that is what he is talking about but until he gets back here we won't know and I am not going to spend any time guessing.

​Patch mods? What are you talking about? And you don't provide any information on what mod or mods you are having a hard time with so it makes it impossible to guess what you mean.

Thank you to MarlinsMY and BigRog for answering the question.

​Are there classic stadiums in 2k12?

The guy's been working on this for years now. When he's done, he's done.

​The Asian community has made some great mods. I'm talking about the ones I use for Mvp. They made an Asian baseball mod last year that is a blast to play. I think I play it as much as Mvp 15. Years ago they made another Asian mod that is not hosted here anymore and there are a lot of good mods for Mvp that are made by the Asian guys. ​That's what I was trying to say this morning. Look at it this way. All you guys are going to be doing is downloading a mod that you probably already have installed on your 2k12 game. It will be your work, scottybilly's, etc, etc. all rolled into one and packaged differently and when you open it up it will be nothing that you haven't seen before.

What in the world are you talking about?

​This isn't the first time these guys have pulled something like this either. ​No it's not hard. When they try to pull something like this you don't approve the mod and you tell them why you are not approving the mod right away. Don't hold their God damned hand and hope they don't get mad. They've done this stuff before in the past when they stole stuff from Mvp modders and the 2k modders. Is there a bit of language barrier? Sure there is, just like with the Caribe guys. And let's not forget that the Caribe guys took a lot of the stuff the modders made here and claimed it as their own. But nothing as blatant as what this Korean group does. And there is no way you can tell me that there isn't one of them that can't understand English and that means they know exactly what they are doing. ​I'm sorry, but you are 100% wrong. ​You know how to twist it around, don't you?

Updated to 5-31 ...An eighteen-year-old kid, whose age must have been bigger than his I.Q. but probably not his shoe size was arrested after successfully evading police and then getting caught because he went back to the scene of the crime because he left his hat behind. What got him on the police's radar at first was when they caught him running a red light and when they went after him he pulled into a driveway and took off before they could catch up to him. It's not like the guy was being chased for holding up a liquor store or something like that but from the way he ran from the police you could have fooled them. While the police were still at the place where he ditched his car and took off he went back there to search for his hat and after giving a detailed description of the missing cap he was arrested for running the red light, avoiding arrest and leaving the scene of a crime and for aggravated stupidity. The good news is that he got his hat back. Now he just needs a head to put it on. ...All the Oakland Athletics needed to do to start playing better baseball was wait for the New York Yankees to come to town. ...This "Dancing Man" guy just proves that anyone can be a viral star. You just have to be in the right place at the right time even if you are just like this poor guy who was doing nothing but minding his own business. ...A Sacramento man was sentenced to more than twenty-eight years behind bars for the near-fatal stabbing of a doorman outside a nightclub because he was angry about a bad drink and poor service that he got there earlier that evening. Maybe I'm not understanding his reason for doing this but why take it out on the doorman? How does that make any sense? That's like if you go to the movies and the film you saw wasn't as good as you hoped it would be and on the way out to your car you stop and beat the snot out of the ticket-taker. Same thing. Have fun in jail! ...Always get a second opinion, Dept: First responders who rushed to a Milwaukee high rise building who were preparing to take the body of a man pronounced dead to the morgue got the surprise of their careers when the guy suddenly began moving and breathing. When they arrived at his residence they found the man at the foot of his bed and he was cold, pale and rigid and knowing that not even a hot shower would have helped him in that state, they called the medical examiner and notified the man's family of his death. Just about the time that the body was being prepared to be shipped to the morgue is when he started to move around. That's understandable. The guy probably overheard where they were taking him and that alone got him moving. The moral of the story here would be (and I'm sorry, I can't resist) not to be caught dead in Milwaukee. ...ISIS may be doing a lot of terrible things around the world and it just seems that their madness and brutality is increasing as the months go on but I think that the most frightening thing they are doing is convincing people to willingly join their cause. A woman in Sydney, Australia abandoned her two children with a babysitter earlier this month and never returned as she fled to Syria for a new life with ISIS. To me that is the side of these people that worries me the most. ...Before most people start boasting about their family tree, they usually do a good pruning job. Which explains what Ben Affleck is trying to do when he asked the producers from a TV program exploring his family tree to remove a relative that was found to have owned slaves back in the 1860's. Well Ben he wouldn't own any today, would he? Wether this guy was a slave owner or a moonshiner or a bank robber is irrelevant now. It's been over one hundred and fifty years and I don't think anyone has to answer for what someone in your family did or did not do over a century before you were born. People are so paranoid and politically correct these days that they are apologizing for crap that their family did back in the 1800's like they actually had something to do with it. Maybe he can look on the bright side of it and he can make a lousy movie about this. It certainly would not be his first. ...A teenage boy in Montana accidentally shot to death one of his two friends when they were outside his window in the middle of the night trying to wake him by knocking and throwing pebbles at his window. The kid woke up startled and when he saw two faces in the window he got scared so he then grabbed a gun that was in the bedroom and fired through the window. If this were an intruder he would have done his job well but the shot he fired hit his friend square in the head and he died shortly after taken to the hospital. Right now the local police do not know if they are going to file charges or not. I can't think of any reason why this kid shouldn't be prosecuted. What the hell is he doing with a loaded gun in his room in the first place? How the hell is he going to explain that? What the hell did he think was out there, a killer moose? And his friends could have tried calling him on his phone instead of resorting to the old-fashioned pebble throwing bit. What the hell, that's the stuff I used to do to get my friends to come out at night and that's how they got me out. It was a senseless accident but more than that it was stupid. ...You're hired! You're fired!, Dept: A twenty-seven-year- old single mother from Dallas got herself fired from her new job at a day care facility because she made a post on Facebook that she hated working at day cares and also hated being around a lot of kids. Doesn't sound like a good fit for her. It's like someone wanting to join the fire department but doesn't care to fight fires or ride in the truck. Her new boss didn't think that she would have been a good fit either so he called her at home and told her not to bother coming into work now or ever because of what she wrote on Facebook. She made sure the local news stations there heard about it and she told one of them that she "really needed" the job and didn't mean to offend anyone. Well, now she really needs to go look for another job. She's old enough to know not to post these kind of comments online because they always come back to hurt you. Then again maybe she doesn't. ...An Apple watch? What the hell for? ...I had to laugh last week when a mother down in South Carolina had to keep her kids inside the house because a ten-foot alligator was walking across their front lawn. The kids thought it was a "cool thing to see" but of course they said that with the doors and windows locked behind them. If I had seen an alligator on my lawn the next thing that I would have on it after it left was a For Sale sign. ...It happened in Florida, Dept. (part 143): A man in South Florida is suing his hospital for emotional distress because after he had his leg amputated it was thrown in the garbage with his name tag still on it. What the hell did he expect the hospital to do, prop it up in the corner someplace? I would understand if he had emotional distress had the hospital amputated the wrong leg but that's not what happened here. I see a nice little settlement in the future for him and all his distress will suddenly disappear in the wind. ...I would have paid anything to see the look on the person's face when they were dumpster diving as they pulled out that leg. ...Like most people I have caller ID on my home phone and I use it to avoid sales calls and relatives, although not necessarily in that order. So you can imagine my surprise last Thursday afternoon when the phone rang and when I looked at the caller ID I was startled to learn that I was calling myself. There I was looking at my name and phone number while the phone was ringing and since I wanted to hear what I had to say I answered the phone and almost immediately regretted it. I was telling myself that I had just won a trip to the Caribbean and all I had to do was press 9 on my phone to talk to an operator but it never gave me the chance because I hung up on myself right after I finished my sales pitch. And what made it even worse was that I found out my voice sounds exactly like a woman. ...At Chicago's O’Hare International Airport last week a stewardess on a Spirit Airlines flight decided to pose for photos inside a jet engine while passengers were boarding the flight. One of the passengers saw what she did and instead of asking someone on the flight crew about what she did or have them ask the Captain about it, they decided the best thing they should do is call a local TV station so they could make a big deal about it and in turn they could get their fifteen minutes of fame. Whomever this person was made sure to tell the TV people that they were "concerned" about what they saw the flight attendant do but again it should be noted that they weren't that concerned to let the Captain know about it. The TV station came first. Some people are just not happy with their lives unless they are complaining about something. They never said who this person was that phoned in this story but I hope in the near future that someone turns them in for something just as meaningless. ...Former 49ers and Bears defensive lineman Ray McDonald had a busy week last week as he managed to get himself arrested two times for a domestic violence incident and for violating a restraining order that was issued from his first arrest. The reason why he wasn't arrested for a third time was because he simply ran out of time. ...You could not blame the Angels at all for being a bit confused after they found out that Josh Hamilton hit his first two home runs of the season -both of which occurred in one game- on his return to the Texas Rangers last week. He was with them for two seasons and for all that time just mailed it in as he never came close to do anything as exciting at that at any time as a member of their team. ...The reason why it is so easy for me to root against the Washington Nationals is because they have overrated Stephen Strasburg and over-inflated Bryce Harper on their team. ...I can't help but recalling some guy paying $16,000 for a Strasburg baseball card a few years back. I bet he's been congratulating himself on that lately. ...Dustin Diamond, who played the highly-annoying Screech character on Saved by the Bell got himself arrested during a Christmas Day altercation last year when he was in a bar with his girlfriend. Somehow a fight started and Diamond pulled out his knife and in the confusion one patron was stabbed. When Diamond was asked to explain himself in front of the judge he explained that he only pulled out his knife because he figured it would "take the fight out of people." And I bet all this time you all thought he was just acting like an idiot on TV. Turns out he really was one. ...In many ways Miami Marlins owner Jeffery Loria reminds me of former Oakland Athletics owner Charlie Finley and if anyone who remembers when Finley owned the A's this is in no way a compliment. At least Finley's A's won despite of him.

​What do you mean what roster? It's a beta version of this mod. Download this and you'll see his preliminary roster. The final one won't be set until he is finished.

I have been here a long time and I can safely say this is one of the strangest threads that I have ever seen.

​I swear you must sit around at night thinking of new ways to make this game harder to play.

​If you made this post in another thread you had no reason to start a new one for the same problem. So please do not do this again in the future. I have no idea what you mean by Mvp 15 automatically installing. It doesn't work that way. To install this mod you have to start the installation process yourself. Questions: Why are you uninstalling the game? Why are you installing two different patches? Just install patch #2. Patch 3, 4 and 5 are roster updates and you don't need that.

Updated to 5-24 ...Due to technical difficulties in the forum last week there was no Random Thoughts thread because of the problems with the website's upgrade. Trues has been working very hard to fix the problems associated with this move and has spent many long hours trying to get everything back where he wants it to be. I have not talked to him in a few days to get the latest update but I would guess he is not done yet and when we find out for sure that this upgrade is finally behind us I think we all should let him know how much we appreciated his hard work during this time. ...What the hell? It didn't take long for the Yankees to hit the skids, didn't it? ...And by the way I can not get used to those Yankee moustaches. They look terrible. Maybe now that they are not winning they'll start using their razor again. ...I must admit at first I was very surprised to learn about how hard the NFL lowered the boom on the New England Patriots but after thinking about it a little I have to say I really wasn't. The NFL has been the victims of some bad press for awhile now and that's something that they can only blame themselves for so when this latest scandal popped up they had to show everyone that they meant business. I sincerely believe that if the Ray Rice incident would not have occurred the commissioner would have been a lot more lenient on the Patriots and nothing would have happened to Tom Brady. But since it did they had to take a different route. The Patriots were fined one million dollars by the league. That's like one hundred dollars for you and I. They'll know it's gone but they won't cry over it. They also lost their 2016 first-round draft pick and a fourth-round pick in 2017. They should have lost their first-round picks for the next three years. Finally Tom Brady was suspended four games for his participation in this and for his refusal to answer questions when the interview process was going on. He should have had the entire year off because this isn't the first time the Patriots were caught cheating. He's appealing this decision but that was to be expected. I hope they add a few more games just because he is wasting more of their time here. This is what happens when they cheat, get caught and lie about it. Serves them right. ...A lot of lawsuits that go on these days are laughable and are not worth the paper that they are written on. But then you read about one that makes so much sense that you just can't help but pull for the person. There's this lady in California who had a job that required her to travel across Central California for her employer and her bosses told her to download an app for her phone called Xora which clock in and out, fill out forms and log trips while she was traveling. It also tracks the locations of all the workers via GPS while constantly sending that information back to her boss. What's more, she had to have her phone on at all times, every day with no excuse. As soon as she found out that this app was able to do all of these things she deleted it from the phone and when her employer found out they deleted her from their payroll. She is suing them for invasion of privacy, wrongful termination and unfair business practices. I hope she gets it. If these people want to track her twenty-four hours a day then they should pay her for all that time too. ...An elderly man in his seventies was evicted from his assisted-living facility located in a Philadelphia suburb because officials there found a prostitute that he was trying to hide from them underneath his bed. To be fair there is only so much TV you can watch and crossword puzzles to do until you get bored and when that happens you mind begins to wander. The guy got the money to pay for the hooker because he was able to get around by himself a lot easier than most of the other people living there so he would go out and buy liquor for anyone who wanted it while only charging a small handling fee. So it's hard to say what got him into trouble with the home. Sneaking a guest in his room so they can break in the mattresses good and proper or the booze runs? ...I finally have something that I can compare Pedro Martinez and Jorge Posada to. Both have new baseball books out and I can not put one above the other to say which one I would definitely not read. From what I read in this Daily News article he was upset and angry about how he was being played in his final season as a Yankee. He doesn't say that he was practically useless in 2011 and that if he wasn't part of the "Core Four" he would have been given his outright release that year. That's how bad he was. I devour baseball books but they have to be about people that I respect or that I am a fan of. I wouldn't read Posada's book even if someone gave it to me. ...Only in China, Dept Where else would you go mall shopping and run into a wild boar? That's exactly what happened last week when a children's clothing store had to be evacuated and locked because a young female boar somehow got in and started trashing the place while it was looking for a way out. The poor boar was completely lost because she was looking for the food court and that happened to be at the other end of the mall. Order was quickly restored in the mall when the boar was tranquilized by a veterinarian and taken to an animal rehab center. In China that is a code word for butcher shop. ...George Zimmerman's luck is so bad that if he was sitting in a room all by himself drinking coffee he would still find a way to get himself arrested. ...The School of the Art Institute of Chicago gave Kanye West an honorary doctorate for what they said was his "transformative, genre-defying work." Just like that all credibility of their PHD program went out the window. If this guy can now walk around calling himself "doctor" then we all should be able to. ...What's next, Kris Jenner for sainthood? ...And before I go any further here I want to thank the people at the Billboard Music Awards for censoring Kanye West when Dr. Blowhard was singing last week. It was the first and only performance of his that I thoroughly enjoyed. ...Michael Sam signed a one-year deal with the Montreal Alouettes of the Canadian Football League last Friday because he could not hook up with any NFL team after Dallas cut him last October. Montreal is a laid back accepting city and he should do fine up there but if he ever decides to pick up a hockey stick and taking up that sport as a hobby that's when they'll send him back to the States. ...Not this time, Dept: A North Carolina police officer sued Starbucks because he suffered third degree burns when he said that the lid on his free cup of coffee popped off and it spilled all over him. He sued Starbucks for $750,000 so they would have to pay for the medical fees and his emotional suffering. Jurors however did not agree and ruled in Starbucks favor. If this guy was looking for a quick sue-for-money scheme he should have tried something else because someone already pulled this back in 1992 and the woman that did it won a goldmine from McDonalds (2.9 million dollars) for spilling coffee on herself while in a parked car. And that was only twenty-three years ago. The public has short memories for a lot of things but not for something like this. ...A senior North Korean defector who had a high-ranking government job there told interviewers that Kim Jong Un gave orders for his aunt to be killed last year around this time. That this guy is a brutal dictator is one thing but now we find out he is cheap as all hell. If he didn't want to send her a card for Mother's Day that's one thing. But to kill her? When his family has get-togethers they must hope that he never shows up. ...Another American idiot illegally entered North Korea recently and is now facing serious charges and prison time for illegally entering the country through China. This time it's a twenty-one-year-old college student named Won-moon Joo, which means jackass in English. Unlike the other people that North Korea has detained this guy said he actually wanted to be arrested. (I told you his name meant jackass.) He said that by being arrested some great event could happen and that it could have a good effect on the relations between North and South Korea. What this event was he did not say. He probably didn't think that far ahead. ...If I were Kim Jong Un for a day the first thing I would do is electrify the fences so the idiots from America who want to make statements can't get in the country and buy a few dozen rottweilers just in case someone gets past the fence. ...A woman from Nebraska filed a seven-page document that detailed her lawsuit against all homosexuals on behalf of God and Jesus Christ. This is the last thing Bruce Jenner needs is another lawsuit on his hands because he has enough to worry about. She's serious too. She wants a federal judge to rule on whether or not homosexuality is a sin. I just hope this woman is not too offended when this gets laughed out of court. ...As announcers and writers love to point out, baseball managers are hired to be fired. Unfortunately that is true because it's easier to fire one guy than half the players on it who aren't worth much to begin with. Add to the mix an owner who is one of the worst in baseball and you can understand why Miami Marlins manager Mike Redmond did not sign a long-term lease to rent a home in the Miami Metropolitan area. And it's a good thing because Jeffrey Loria fired Redmond and bench coach Rob Leary, presumably because he did not like the way Leary was sitting in the dugout during games. The Marlins were 16 - 22 on the season at the time of Redmond's firing, which is hardly time to raise the panic flag especially when they are only in the middle of May. Loria replaced Redmond with a guy named Dan Jennings and if you never heard of him you are not alone. Jennings was Miami's General Manager which just goes to show you that no other baseball manager who is currently out of a job wanted this one. Jennings never played in the major leagues or the minor leagues. I hope he doesn't get too comfortable. ...Bristol Palin announced that her upcoming marriage to former U.S. Marine Dakota Meyer has been called off. Wether he knows it or not right now he dodged a bullet bigger than the ones that were shot at him during his time in Afghanistan. ...The funny thing about that shootout in Waco, Texas where nine bikers died and eighteen others were injured was the reaction that a lot of people had when they first heard about what happened. They were surprised and shocked that something like that took place. What the hell for? They're bikers. What the hell were they going to do when they got together, have bible readings? ...Why does the NFL constantly tinker with their rules? ...I went to Lowe's on Friday afternoon and the cashier that checked me out must have previously worked at a fast-food place because she was as smart as the people who seem to work there. I had one item in my cart, a 27x45 piece of plywood that I planned to put under a small ottoman that I own to give it support. She looked at it and then she asked me what it was. I immediately wanted to say something funny like "it's a lawnmower" but I thought if I said that I would have confused her even more so I just said it was a piece of wood and I left it at that. That didn't help at all because she then asked me what kind of wood I had. I said I don't know but I hoped it was from good stock. That answer didn't help either so I told her to call the guy over in lumber and he'll tell you that the wood that I have is really wood and I'll pay for it and go home. So she calls the lumber department and I can hear the guy on the phone laughing because he had to confirm that what I had was wood. That was the funniest $18.50 that I ever spent.