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Misopogon

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Files posted by Misopogon

  1. 1968 Detroit Tigers

    I had these for MLB2k10 but never released them because I couldn't figure out how to get the numbers on the sleeves. Now you can (Ty Wiggins (NTTW) is a deity!), and thanks to tonight's rain-out and the fact that certain people on the work flow on either side of me are not getting their stuff in on time.

    Since they were looking more boring than Bingo night with the old Senators' uniforms, I added a patch for the '68 winners. So I guess technically this is the Summer of Love. Whatever: it's the '60s--as if anyone remembered them anyway!

    I was going to write a nice thing about my dad and the sixties here but it's late. Maybe later.

    73 downloads

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  2. Hammerin' Hank, 1945, and How Jews Feel About Gefilte Fish

    If you have never heard of gefilte fish, imagine if you took dead fish, mashed it up into a ball, boiled it, then pickled it.

    So as the tale goes, with a week left to go in the 1938 season Hank Greenberg had 58 home runs. At this point his mother promised him if he could hit 61 homers she would make him 61 gefilte fish. Greenberg proceeded to hit 0 more home runs that season. Some thought it was because the league and country were filled with anti-Semites who might tolerate a Jewish ballplayer but not a Jewish home run record-holder. Some thought most ballplayers go much more than a week between three home runs. But the gefilte fish thing clears up any doubt for me: so long as there are people in the world who hate people in the world, Jewish women will continue to cook gefilte fish, and Jewish men will find new and original means of avoiding eating gefilte fish. So is the way of the world.

    Much about that world is out of your control. Hank couldn't avoid the fact that the best years of his career came during the time everyone had to go beat Hitler. So Greenberg went as a 30-year-old,

    ...
    ..and returned a 34-year-old. In baseball in 1945 this was pretty old. However most of the boys were still overseas as the 1945 season got underway, so even an aging Hammerin' Hank vaulted the Tigers back into the World Series.

    Thus began what some chroniclers have called the worst World Series ever, with replacement-level players abounding on both teams (remember this is two years before Jackie Robinson so most of the best ballplayers stateside couldn't play either). The result was an error-filled, will-someone-please-just-lose fest. Why the Cubs looked so terrible has to do with a sacrificed goat in biblical times or something, but you can probably guess what was wrong with the Tigers: Mrs. Greenberg almost assuredly promised another batch of gefilte fish.



    Today we honor Hank Greenberg and the 1945 Tigers with their uniforms...



    ...ahem, their uniforms:

    ...from the year Detroit won the War, the World Series, and the liberty of all mankind. We should never forget the tremendous sacrifices they made--not just giving up the primes of their careers to fight for Uncle Sam, but finally sucking it up and eating Bubbe Greenberg's famous baseball-shaped gefilte fish. You are true heroes.

    Note: by now if you don't know to change the name of a uniform file from something made to work with TyWiggin's editor, leave it in the comments. Also: the team wore something like it last year to honor the '45-ers but they changed up the logo and wouldn't go back to flannels. I had no such compunction. I'm especially proud of how the chest logo came out.

    45 downloads

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  3. Hating Texas Since 1994

    (Note: This is meant as humor along with your jerseys, inspired because 20 family members from the DFW metro area are in town this week and the inconsiderate way in which the Rangers beat up on the Tigers. I don't actually have anything against the State of Texas, its baseball team, or the great people of that awful state.)

    (Note 2: Unless Delmon Young is from there, because as far as I'm concerned he can go to hell, or Texas.)

    (Note 3: I attached three png's in the file for modders with Photoshop, since GiMP's DDS plugin loses some quality with its compression. If one of you would be kind enough to compress and send me the DDS's for those I can update the file version)

    (Note 4: None of this applies to Austin. Stay weird friends!)

    (Note 5: I think if you actually check stats Texas is only in the bottom third of hated states. This is not scientific. It's humor.)

    (Note 6: If I keep saying this isn't serious people may believe me)



    94 reasons why everybody hates Texas:
    "Don't Mess With Texas" bumper stickers
    All of the Rangers' uniforms say "Texas" even at home.
    ...and they put THEIR STATE FLAG on the jerseys, even though they're not even the only baseball team in the state.
    Astroturf. Thanks for that guys; the knees of two generations of ruined athletes are truly grateful.
    You can't get anywhere in their cities because their highways become a sea of black Excursions, Suburbans, and RAV4's with one occupant each.
    Four words: Dallas-Fort Worth International.
    They shot Kennedy
    ...so they could make Lyndon B. Johnson president and make us all go to Vietnam.
    George W. Bush
    That the Rangers were once owned by (a group of scumdouches who chose as their face guy) George W. Bush
    ...and then you made him governor just to get rid of him as owner
    ...and then you made him president just to get rid of him as governor.
    ...and that because he was so epically bad at it the GOOD Bush son can't even run now.
    The Longhorn Network
    I'm pretty sure you were responsible for "Who let the dogs out?" becoming a thing.
    Their dysfunctional sibling rivalry in college football that was mostly responsible for turning the SEC and ACC into 14-team behemoths, ruining 12 other great rivalries, and destroying the Big XII.
    How you made Randy Smith your *****.
    Nolan Ryan
    They only joined the United States because the slave states needed to up their numbers.
    They celebrate the fact that they've had five other sovereigns other than the United States (i.e. "Six Flags"). These are: France, Spain, Mexico, the Republic of Texas, and the Confederacy. Seriously they are PROUD of this.
    The think the Alamo is the most important event in history, because Sam Houston and Davy Crockett personally held off an army of skeleton Mexicans.
    Craig James (no truth to the rumors that he killed five hookers while at SMU)
    That Craig James actually thought he could run for your Senate Seat!
    ...and that some of you actually voted for him!
    ...and that you used that whole farce with his son to get out of paying Mike Leach
    They use more power, more gas, and more electricity in that state than all but eight countries. Their environmental footprint is worse than that of France.
    SMU
    King of the Hill -- Go back to making Beavis & Butthead plz k thx.
    That their political ads always feature a dude in a huge cowboy hat and cowboy boots standing in front of a fence and talking about "Texas values," despite the fact that barely any Texans are actually ranchers. The only politicians who own ranches are rich dudes who bought them as second homes and so they could tell other Texas they own a ranch.
    Beehive hairdos
    Enron. You even had a field named for them!
    Dallas is the cubicle farm of cities. The whole city is a bunch of boring, architecturally infantile gray boxes and concrete and decorated with soulless, meaningless art because some psychologist said art will increase productivity.
    They get much of their information from Yahoo! Answers.
    They believe every home should have a gun in it, but God forbid somebody ever actually use a gun to go hunting!
    They kept voting Tom DeLay into office.
    More cults, and more people who belong to a cult than any other state.
    David Koresh
    Hook 'em Horns, and Claws and Antlers. Congratulations: you just discovered you have hands.
    That they one day decided to call the Cowboys "America's Team" when nobody in America except Texas liked them. Seriously: we all wanted Buffalo to finally win one you bastards.
    That every school district has to use the same textbook, therefore textbook makers write them in order to please the psychopath politicians you elect to choose the book.
    The most gerrymandered map of any democratic political body in the entire world
    They're everything that people hate about the South (bad education, racism, biases, bible-thumping) without any of the good parts about the south (deep respect for history, traditions, politeness, good looking women, great football)
    They're everything that people hate about Yankees (pretentious, oblivious to other ways of life, outlet malls) without the good parts about the North (architecture, education, um...really good cheese?)
    Belt Buckles!!!!!!
    That you think theme parks are "Cultural Attractions"
    "Everything is bigger in Texas"
    ...seriously, your whole state has either Napoleon or smalltrophy syndrome.
    That the Spurs complain bitterly when bad officiating screwed them out of an important game, then went on to win multiple championships with some of the most famously biased officiating ever.
    That you're such dicks to California. Not that we all like California that much but we don't understand why you're so hard on them.
    Like when you stole all of their electricity and gave them brownouts because they passed a stupid law that made it possible for you to do that. Did nobody say "hey, let's warn California that their law is going to get them screwed?" instead of bankrupting another state so your richest a-holes could get even filthy richier?
    Mark Cuban. Shut up, Mark.
    The Mavs.
    Dirk Nowitzki's singing voice: "WLeeeee Ahhhhr thu Chaaaampyuns"
    Lamar Odom, Shawn Marion, Vince Carter, Jason Kidd...what are you TRYING to corner the market on universally despised players?
    That we had to root for you last year anyway because there was NO WAY we were rooting for Miami.
    That you're probably personally responsible for 50% of U.S. obesity.
    That when people of other countries do an "American" accent they sound just like you.
    ...and that most of what they say they hate about Americans mostly applies to Texans.
    How much you paid just to TALK to Yu Darvish.
    SXSW: the fastest awesome-to-overblown and commercialized transition for any event in history
    Juan Gonzalez. /shakes with angar
    You build everything too big and too cheap without any consideration of any factors other than is it big and is it cheap
    You are willing to screw over all of college football in order to maintain the charade that Baylor and Texas Tech are BCS teams, and you think UTEP and SMU and TCU should be as well, as if Indiana didn't have a bigger athletic program than all of those schools put together.
    You blame regulations for your refineries and power plants all being way way out of date, then spend what it would cost you to fix that every election cycle so politicians who will bail you out of your environmental jams can run commercials of themselves in huge cowboy hats and cowboy boots standing in front of a fence talking about values.
    That Texas actually held out longer than any SEC school in integrating your athletic teams, and were so proud of Chairman of the Board of Regents Frank C. Erwin for his staunch opposition to blacks in burnt orange that you named the basketball arena for him!
    Rick Perry.
    Rick Perry commercials. If you ever subject us to those again...
    Whatever Elvis Andrus is putting in his hair. That is so gross.
    That you use the Death Penalty on kids and mentally disabled.
    That you literally started a riot because they cut off your beer on 10-cent beer night.
    The worst health care in the country, and more large companies who don't provide health care than any other state.
    Mullets. Either chop that thing or put it in a hockey helmet please.
    Terrelle Owens when he was with the Cowboys.
    How many crappy bowl games can you come up with to scam schools out of millions?
    Whose idea was it to let Jose Canseco pitch?
    That Mack Brown voted Cal out of the Top 10 so Texas could take their spot in the '95 Rose Bowl
    There are 3 million people in the world who are tougher than Chuck Norris. Get over it.
    Country Music. And not good country music like they have in the border states which is dripping with soul and the anguish of poverty and the sublime joys of a "simple" life that's anything but simple, but the rhinestone crap sung by a dude in sequins and with his shirt tucked into too-tight jeans who spends way too long on the 2nd syllable of "A-MER-ica"
    That you wear cowboy boots in 9,000 places that they're inappropriate (weddings, airplanes, swimming...)
    That you were the only state whose police gave Chris Hanson carte blanche to film To Catch a Predator and because of your incompetence every single perv on that episode walked. Yes, my state takes responsibility for Chris Hanson, but he is from Lansing, which is as different from the rest of our state as Austin is from yours.
    How long did you keep employing John Rhadigan? This didn't embarrass you at all?
    Your approach to business is to Look Out for Number 1 -- we actually take seminars about how to do business with some of your companies because their approach is to try to screw their partners, not make money for their partners.
    Didn't you outlaw sodomy or something? Like were there debates about this?
    Matthew McConaughy
    That they're the only state who actually care that people hate them. Think about it: Californians will just be like "yeah we hate it too." New Yorkers will be like "whatever; we are superior." Alabamans will just talk about how Nick Saban will kick one of your body parts. Illinois will say "that's just our politicians we hate them too." Floridians will just blame a segment of their population. New Jersey will call it a "Jersey thing." Midwestern states will just figure you're from their rival state and mention the last time their football team beat yours (except Nebraska: I've yet to meet anyone who hates Nebraskans. They're just a super-nice state. It's so weird. Unrelated: nobody hates people from Colorado either. A list of things people hate about Colorado starts and ends with Claude Lemieux, who isn't even from Colorado).
    That they keep screwing around with Michael Young instead of trading him to a team that would love him. You have one likeable guy on your team, so every year you sign or bring up a new superstar for his position. God forbid you ever move Murphy.
    Your attitude towards your border with another country, who by the way happens to be an important friend and ally and business partner with our country. You don't see us patrolling the St. Clair river shooting Canadians do you?
    That you stole the Stars from Minnesota, and thus forced us to expand the NHL AGAIN just to give the most obvious hockey city in the USA a hockey team.
    Guess which MLB team was Ground Zero for the steroid '90s?
    That you signed A-Rod for more per year than some teams' entire annual salaries, and then spent years paying the Yankees a big portion of that contract. You were PAYING the YANKEES! Because they need more money.
    That you complained so hard about Elvis Andrus not winning Rookie of the Year (you were right about that) but then threw out every one of your arguments for Andrus plus all pretended like you've never heard of SABRmetrics when trying to justify Feliz the following year.
    Stop throwing chairs at fans, breaking TV cameras, etc.
    Ron Paul, Ron Paultards, and that they've made it so being a libertarian is now synonymous with the idiots who think smart grid meters and airport metal detectors will give you cancer.
    That no matter how many disclaimers I put above, people from Texas are still going to get offended and try to defend themselves and their stupid state. Watch.
    The one thing that totally makes up for all of that:
    Your barbecue!

    <object width="420" height="315"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/_GhHf_5-cdE?version=3&amp;hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/_GhHf_5-cdE?version=3&amp;hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="420" height="315" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object>

    72 downloads

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    7 comments

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  4. The 1990s, and other mistakes (1994 Tigers roadies and Rangers home)

    UPDATE: I've included the 1994 Rangers as well. Since I can't change their team color from blue to red, they don't come out looking very much like 1994.

    The statute of limitations for most misdemeanors in Michigan is 16 years. That means anything you did here in 1994* will, as of this weekend, be lost to history.

    There are things we have all done in our lives that we are embarrassed about today. Mistakes are part of life, as is paying for those mistakes. For example, the guy who thought this...



    ...would make a great new logo for the Big Ten probably can't get his kids to speak to him anymore. Or like when we went to our R.A. and complained that one of our hallmates was literally the biggest douche in the world, and he told us we're probably overblowing it, well...

    So we all made mistakes. Fortunately, after about 16 years, most mistakes can be forgiven. For example, in '94, nobody now cares that you only built this:



    ...so you could then visit terrifying disasters upon your citizenry, or that these were your friends:



    By now, you can be forgiven if you cut your hair like this:



    Or if you bought an album from them:

    .

    Hey, nobody talks about Tonya Harding anymore. Or Amy Fisher. Or Joey Buttafuoco's missing thing. Nobody remembers making Green Lantern into this guy:



    Or when we put a retirement home in Tampa for old ballplayers and told Wade Boggs and Fred McGriff it was an MLB team:



    Hey, do you think the guy who thought teal was a great uniform color is still getting sh-- for it? Or the guy who picked purple for a new franchise in Colorado?

    No way, man: Statute of Limitations! Just like the dudes in Detroit who once thought to themselves, hey, "Let's trash the classic block letters so we can look more like Cleveland!"



    I mean, sure, the orange bills and the stupid change to a classic hat logo and stripes and using the Yankees' numbering font and letting Cecil out of his cage at night were not exactly well-thought-out things. But hey, at least they didn't shut down baseball in August and cancel the World Series.

    Owait..



    Okay, so '94 sucked. But look at the textured logos (and extra orange for the cap versus the one on the batting helmets). Look at the texture of the stripes. Look at how well the 125th anniversary patch came out. Plus I spent way too much time trying to get the numbers to look right. I mean...you gotta try these, right?

    They replace the regular Tiger aways, or the Tiger roadies I've been feeding you all year:

    1984
    1945
    http://www.mvpmods.c...s&showfile=5822
    Negro League

    (wait, did I never even give you guys the '68 ones? Had those a long time. Hmmm....)

    -----------------------------------------------------------
    * If you thought "like your Mom" you get 1 Internet point.

    P.S. Mistakes that are NOT forgiveable include whoever is responsible for making the damn computer throw, literally (by "literally" I mean "this is the real number, not hyperbole") pickoffs to 2nd base like 10 times per at-bat (because there's a 1/10 shot of getting that animation bug that will make the runner get back in slow-mo and put him out). If you know any way to fix that, and I mean ANY way, that doesn't involve something without a statute of limitations, please let me know.

    P.P.S. Vandalizing the car of the person at 2K who programmed the pickoffs is illegal. Just saying.

    198 downloads

       (2 reviews)

    5 comments

    Updated

  5. '94 Tigers Aways, and the inspiring story of 2kSports color manager Ben Hornbrauer

    It was 1994.

    This was the year that Weezer's famous "Navy" album came out:



    Nick Nolte and Shaq starred in the classic film "Navy Chips," not to be confused with "Navy Sky" with Tommy Lee Jones, which also came out that year. The Duke Navy Devils, led by senior Grant Hill, made it all the way to the National Championship game and lost, which by Duke logic means the season isn't worth talking about. It was the year that the Toronto Navy Jays dynasty aged, though with young rookies Carlos Delgado and Alex Gonzalez (THAT Alex Gonzalez) promising a bright future. The Law & Order episode "Navy Bamboo" caused a minor international crisis between Japan and the United States.



    1994 was also the most embarrassing year ever for the ol' Red, White, and Navy Olympic Figure Skating team when Tonya Harding attacked Nancy Kerrigan in Detroit. Kerrigan, in her trademark navy shirt pictured above, vowed she wouldn't sit around being navy and slowly worked her way back to the ice.

    Also injured in that accident was a young Ben Hornbrauer, then wardrobe manager for the Olympic team, whose eyes were struck by the hammer. The incident made it impossible for Hornbrauer to differentiate between different different color shades -- his entire world no longer had any contrast. Even simple things like telling the difference between a navybird and a cardinal were impossible.

    Hornbrauer's remarkable road to recovery took 12 years. The battle to regain his color differentiation was a long and painful process. Most doctors said it would be impossible, but finally he found one person, not a doctor per se, more like a "member of the cast of Real World," who put Hornbrauer on a strict regimen involving 9 straight years of doing nothing but bashing his forehead against various hard objects until the colors righted themselves. Now the Director of Color Programming for 2K Sports, when Detroit pitcher Justin Verlander was selected to be cover athlete for MLB 2k12, Hornbrauer achieved his comeback, returning to the very place of the incident and selecting the absolute most perfect pantone Navy for the Detroit Tigers' uniforms. Here's Hornbrauer's work:



    As you can see Hornbrauer's navy is DISTINCTLY different from the color "navy" like in shoes and navy cake, and batman's costume.

    In his speech at the unveiling of MLB 2k12, Hornbrauer thanked 2K Sports for giving him the opportunity to prove he is once again among able to discern the difference between the Navy of the Navy Jays or the Kansas City Navies, and the totally different shade worn by the New York Yankees or Detroit Tigers. He also mentioned he doesn't know who swapped the white and orange parts of the player name lettering but that clearly some ___hole in his department was going to be fired for it.

    In honor of Hornbrauer's remarkable journey, I present to you the uniforms the Detroit Tigers wore in 1994. Unfortunately I couldn't get Ben himself to provide the colors for this, so these unis use a non-Ben-selected shade of Navy.



    I put in two versions of this, one for Mod Enabler use so you can try to use it with MLB Today modes or if you don't have Ty Wiggins's editor. This is as much as I can do about Hornbrauer's Navy:



    If you do use Ty's editor, it'll look thus:


    88 downloads

       (1 review)

    2 comments

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  6. Detroit Tigers 1990 Away

    Remember this whittle guy?


    (SBNATION)

    No not the Hall of Fame* shortstop in the background. I mean the Kid. THAT ADORABLE KID!

    Fortunately since 1990 we have grown up a bit. For example our Tiger stripes are now just two classy blue pipes down the side, not TIGERZOOPANTZINMILLIONZCOLORZ!!!. Other than places who still think it's 1990 (*cough cough* Toronto) we no longer play on crappy Astroturf, or treat 50 home runs in a season like it's the Second Coming. Our Princes are all grown up.

    Speaking of Second Comings:



    PRINCE IS BACK!!!! (and modders that's a png from BlessYouBoys so you can get the beer stains off the one in-game)

    With Fielder days here again, you too can relive 1990.

    And fortunately for you the uniform I have for you today is NOT the deranged get-up that Prince is wearing, but the Away Uniforms of the 1990 Detroit Tigers.

    * If you disagree with that you are entitled to your opinion.**
    ** Your opinion means you know nothing about baseball and probably should be sterilized

    103 downloads

       (3 reviews)

    4 comments

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  7. 1984 Tigers for 2k12

    The unimportant stuff:

    It's this thing again: http://www.mvpmods.c...showtopic=45928, updated for 2k12. Apologies to the 17 people who downloaded it earlier -- I recommend replacing that one. File name is uniform_det_away84.iff and it can be added as a slot with Ty Wiggins's editor or replace the Aways.



    Guy wearing 3: Hello kids. My name is Alan Trammell.

    Guy wearing 1: And I'm Lou Whitaker

    Both: And we're here to teach YOU how to look as good as us!

    Trammell: Some of you may not know this, but people used to play baseball in cheap synthetic pullovers.

    Whitaker: That's right, Alan. And we were also forced to supplement our meager incomes by doing badly scripted public service videos and cameos in Magnum PI.

    Trammell: Well that was cool:

    Whitaker Anyway, if you want to look like us at home you can wear the same whites the Tigers have worn since the reign of Henry the First...

    Trammell: Ah, Beaclerc. Good guy.

    [gets strange look from Lou]

    Trammell: ...for a Norman.


    [another look]


    Whitaker: But when you go on the road, well, back in our day things got a little interesting.

    [cue cheesy '80s music]

    Trammell: You mean these?



    Whitaker: NO!!! Don't ever bring those out again!

    Trammell: Ha ha. We mean these!



    Whitaker: What you see above are screenshots from 2k10 but they haven't changed much.

    Trammell: And now you can have these babies for 2k12. All you need to do is figure out Ty Wiggin's editor or something.

    Whitaker: Or you could rename it uniform_det_away.iff and use a Mod Enabler.

    Trammell: Or you could PM someone who seems like they know what they're doing.

    Both: Because we don't!!!

    Trammell: But Lou, what about the colors? I mean you can't just wear these with the light blues that the colorblind people at 2k think constitutes "Navy."

    Whitaker: Good question, Tram! Our blue on an RBG scale is 16-22-52, and our orange is 231-85-16. But the colors that DetroitStyle put in his rosters for color-fixing are pretty close to that so if you're already using those don't even bother.

    Trammell: You mean this mod works well with other popular mods? Now that's what I call...

    Both: ...A DOUBLE PLAY!!!

    All: [laughter].

    Look for updates as I use these to tinker with 2k12 mechanics. Thanks to DetroitStyle for the early assistance, to DonSpa for the tutorial in Ty Wiggins Editor-ing, Tom Monaghan, people who supported my Kickstarter, Tom Selleck's cookie duster, and the color orange.

    124 downloads

       (1 review)

    8 comments

    Updated

  8. Kansas Cityians Hey Hey Hey

    Hey, I'm back. Don't have time for a nice long blog to go with these. Suffice to say they're the missing portraits for a bunch of Kansas City Royals, which is kind of like a pro baseball team except without middle relief pitching.

    I'll have a complete roster update with these included in a few moments so if you're using a Misopogon roster, just be patient.

    Apologies if you are Zach Greinke and any of the attached faces caused you to lose a game you dominated.

    To use them, you'll need Nba2k10ModTool, which Google knows where that is. Use the numbers in the files to correspond to which dds image needs replacing. For those guys who were not in the game to start with, see my Rosters and Portrait update today for how to install those guys (or just download the rosters and portraits).

    98 downloads

       (1 review)

    1 comment

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  9. 11-25-2010 Roster and Portrait Update (last one)

    Attention V-Mart Shoppers:

    As a Thanksgiving Special, right now you can download the final 2010 rosters, with all the nice portraits added by modders.

    Before heading out to shop for your favorite free agent, be it an MVP-caliber left fielder or that last piece for your starting rotation, or that switch-hitting ca... oops sold out of that.


    A Tiger

    Folks have been beggin, so here it is. This is my final 2010 roster & portrait update. These rosters do NOT include any changes since the end of the 2010 season, so Victor is still a crimson footcover and that one guy who's a Tampa Bay fan can still pretend like his team can keep Carl Crawford. Usual rules apply, except if you're an Ohio State fan you are not allowed to download this until you have properly lost to Michigan. Consider this incentive...bastards.



    The portrait files and accompanying roster file include every portrait uploaded to this site (minus like one Pirate), plus a few others that I modified on my own, including the latest Royals pack.

    I tried it with a franchise (with roster management on auto) and it still works, but I will not support this file's use with Franchises or My Player, so don't bother asking.

    Step 1: BACK UP YouR FILES

    Step 2: Portrait.iff and portrait.cdf go in your MLB 2K10 folder, most likely C:\Program Files\2K Sports\MLB 2K10

    Step 3: Roster.ROS goes in your saves folder under Application Data. For Windows XP:
    C:\Documents and Settings\[YOUR USER NAME]\Application Data\2K Sports\Major League Baseball 2K10\Saves

    Step 4: Write your local sportswriter and tell him what a flaming idiot he is for thinking a 2nd year closer was Rookie of the Year over Austin Jackson.

    I used TyWiggins's editor to enter the players whose portraits didn't already appear. If you wish to do the same (e.g. if you want your ALREADY STARTED dynasty to use the portraits you just downloaded), here are the added players and their corresponding digits:

    Slot Player Number
    5 Jeff Clement 9258
    9 Allen Craig 9005
    12 Ian Desmond 9058
    22 Brian Duensing 9305
    30 Jim Edmonds 9301
    33 Jaime Garcia 9201
    39 Craig Gentry 9001
    44 Andrew Oliver 9101
    48 Luke Gregerson 9254
    50 Mark Grudzielanek 9009
    60 Jason Heyward 9109
    65 Austin Jackson 9154
    81 Kenshin Kawakami 9209
    90 Brad Kilby 9150
    104 Mike Lamb 9250
    115 Rodrigo Lopez 9344
    119 Colby Lewis 9244
    123 Joe Mather 9019
    134 John Raynor 9044
    139 Ben Sheets 9219
    147 Scott Sizemore 9144
    149 Jay Sborz 9140
    162 Greg Smith 9040
    164 Craig Stammen 9240
    172 Stephen Strasburg 9340
    176 Mitch Talbot 9248
    179 Jake Westbrook 441
    181 Jordan Zimmerman 9115
    192 Brennan Boesch 9315
    196 Pedro Alvarez 9148
    199 Argenis Diaz 9048
    201 Gorkys Hernandez 9215
    203 Brad Lincoln 9211
    213 Starlin Castro 9311
    230 Jose Tabata 9064
    234 Brad Thomas 9239
    238 Alfredo Figaro 9183
    247 Danny Worth 9264
    251 Ryan Strieby 9283
    255 Brent Dlugach 9260
    259 Enrique Gonzalez 9287
    268 Robbie Weinhardt 9187
    270 Hector Ambriz 9087
    275 Carlos Santana 9060
    280 Jason Donald 9335
    284 Frank Herrmann 9068
    288 Will Rhymes 9235
    298 Jeff Frazier 9268
    302 Justin Smoak 9135
    308 Wilson Ramos 9131
    319 Chris Carter (Mets) 9031
    322 Hisanori Takahashi 9231
    330 Ike Davis 9331
    333 Jon Jay 9225
    340 Madison Bumgarner 9325
    345 Ruben Tejada 9125
    352 John Axford 9278
    363 Blake Wood 9121
    373 Peter Bourjos 9321
    375 Zach Braddock 9221
    385 Lorenzo Cain 9329
    387 Chris Capuano 9174
    388 Chris Carter (A's) 9193
    393 Andrew Cashner 9093
    395 Jason Castro 9074
    396 Gustavo Chacin 9229
    399 Chris Seddon 9029
    403 Casey Coleman 9293
    408 David Pauley 9129
    416 Sam Demel 9270
    418 Thomas Diamond 9097
    429 Donnie Murphy 9197
    432 Barry Enright 9220
    449 Francisco Rodriguez 9120
    459 Hector Luna 9020
    461 Daniel Hudson 3768
    465 Ivan Nova 9279
    475 Kenley Jensen 9324
    478 Jenrry Mejia 9179
    481 John Jaso 9079
    498 Jordan Norberto 9792
    508 Jordan Smith 9128
    511 Jordan Walden 9275
    512 Justin Thomas 9028
    520 Kanekoa Texeira 9092
    523 Michael Kohn 9228
    524 Kameron Loe 9328
    527 Jonathan Lucroy 9175
    535 Mike Stanton 9086
    541 Adam Russell 9161
    549 Ryota Igarashi 9186
    552 Marc Rzepczynski 9261
    554 Ervin Sanchez 9286
    560 Trevor Bell 9038
    561 Steven Tolleson 9282
    570 Trevor Plouffe 9338
    573 Jonny Venters 9165
    574 Brett Wallace 9182
    580 Ross Wolf 9082
    586 Bryan Anderson 9065
    528 Kila Ka'aihue 9192
    467 Bruce Chen 9124
    423 Jarrod Dyson 9170
    492 Lucas May 9196

    The first number is its spot in the portrait file; the second number is what you have to change their portrait # to in the roster editor.

    All I ask is that you use the comments section below to sing "The Victors" and tell Ohio State how much you hate them and to stop making us their *****.

    2,313 downloads

       (2 reviews)

    6 comments

    Updated

  10. Kansas City Monarchs

    Sorry I don't have time to write a nice blog of Misopogonal logorrhea. Mahwidge and all that. Do you want a long, interesting post, or the rosters, amirite?

    It's the 1942 Kansas City Monarchs, to add to my previous series.


    122 downloads

       (1 review)

    0 comments

    Updated

  11. 08-08-2010 Roster AND Portrait Update

    So, who plays for the Tigers these days?

    No, that guy's injured.

    That guy? Broken hand.

    Oh that guy? Yeah, knee exploded, I.R.

    The batting champ? Check Henry Ford Hospital, room 226.

    The guy with a 104-mph fastball? The bodypart thing that holds his elbow together snapped. Twang!

    Don't even ask about the bullpen.



    If you have loaded a recent Detroit Tigers roster, you may be forgiven for thinking MLB went on strike again. No. But we do have a lot of new faces, and with my mod, all of the fresh new faces will actually have, you know, faces.

    BTW - the "Rookie" and stuff on there was added in Photoshop. It's not in the mod.

    The portrait files and accompanying roster file include every portrait uploaded to this site (minus some minor league Pirates and Aroldis Chapman, because he is not a Major League ballplayer), plus a few others that I modified on my own (mostly Tigers, but I made a few trade deadline picture changes). If the white rings around some of my files bothered you before, they are gone now, for those I saw at least.

    I tried it with a franchise (with roster management on auto) and it seemed to work, but I will not support this file's use with Franchises or My Player, so don't bother asking.

    I will try to continue to update the portrait file with the rosters as the year progresses, but the pain-in-the-butt-itude of doing so may prevent me.


    Step 1: BACK UP YouR FILES

    Step 2: Portrait.iff and portrait.cdf go in your MLB 2K10 folder, most likely C:\Program Files\2K Sports\MLB 2K10

    Step 3: Roster.ROS goes in your saves folder under Application Data. For Windows XP:

    C:\Documents and Settings\[YOUR USER NAME]\Application Data\2K Sports\Major League Baseball 2K10\Saves

    I used TyWiggins's editor to enter the players whose portraits didn't already appear. If you wish to do the same (e.g. if you want your ALREADY STARTED dynasty to use the portraits you just downloaded), here are the added players and their corresponding digits:

    Slot Player Number
    5 Jeff Clement 9258
    9 Allen Craig 9005
    12 Ian Desmond 9058
    22 Brian Duensing 9305
    30 Jim Edmonds 9301
    33 Jaime Garcia 9201
    39 Craig Gentry 9001
    44 Andrew Oliver 9101
    48 Luke Gregerson 9254
    50 Mark Grudzielanek 9009
    60 Jason Heyward 9109
    65 Austin Jackson 9154
    81 Kenshin Kawakami 9209
    90 Brad Kilby 9150
    104 Mike Lamb 9250
    115 Rodrigo Lopez 9344
    119 Colby Lewis 9244
    123 Joe Mather 9019
    134 John Raynor 9044
    139 Ben Sheets 9219
    147 Scott Sizemore 9144
    149 Jay Sborz 9140
    162 Greg Smith 9040
    164 Craig Stammen 9240
    172 Stephen Strasburg 9340
    176 Mitch Talbot 9248
    179 Jake Westbrook 441
    181 Jordan Zimmerman 9115
    192 Brennan Boesch 9315
    196 Pedro Alvarez 9148
    199 Argenis Diaz 9048
    201 OPEN 9215
    203 Brad Lincoln 9211
    213 Starlin Castro 9311
    230 Jose Tabata 9064
    234 Brad Thomas 9239
    237 Jeff Larish 9164
    238 Alfredo Figaro 9183
    247 Danny Worth 9264
    251 Ryan Strieby 9283
    255 Brent Dlugach 9260
    259 Enrique Gonzalez 9287
    268 Robbie Weinhardt 9187
    270 Hector Ambriz 9087
    275 Carlos Santana 9060
    280 Jason Donald 9335
    284 Frank Herrmann 9068
    288 Will Rhymes 9235
    298 Jeff Frazier 9268

    The first number is its spot in the portrait file; the second number is what you have to change their portrait # to in the roster editor.

    1,171 downloads

       (2 reviews)

    14 comments

    Submitted

  12. Shadowball: Negro League Unis for Detroit and Pittsburgh

    This is a story that Buck O'Neil used to love telling:

    In Pittsburgh on July 21, 1942, pitching against the Homestead Grays, Satchel Paige found himself up 4-0 in the 7th inning when he gave up a triple to Jerry Benjamin. Paige called in his 1st baseman (O'Neil) and told him he's gonna walk the next two guys to face Josh Gibson, who was, at the time, the most feared hitter in baseball.* He promptly issued four balls to the next batter, and then when the next batter, Buck Leonard, came up, Satchel called to Gibson over in the on-deck circle and said "I'm gonna walk Bucky here and pitch to you!" When Gibson came up, Paige announced "I'm gonna throw a fastball right down the pipe." He did, and Gibson watched it go by. Satchel called out again "fastball, down the middle!" And again, thinking Paige was trying to screw with him Gibson didn't swing: Strike Two. A third time: "I'm throwing you a fastball!" Satch threw, it went by Gibson's knees as he swung with late futility: inning over.

    -------------------
    * Eat your heart out, Splinter
    -------------------

    For much of the 20th century, to play in the Major Leagues you had to be white.

    To play in the Negro Leagues, you had to be great.



    Contained within are the uniforms for the Detroit Stars (Tigers at home) and the Pittsburgh Crawfords (Pirates away), as worn on June 12 this year (and every following year in your MLB2K10 dynasty if you haven't noticed yet), which is way back when only one of these teams was fielding a AAA squad and ANGRY ATHLETE-HATING GOD ran out of 2009 New York Mets and Iowa Running Backs and absolutely vital Michigan Wolverines to smite, and went back to picking on Joel Zumaya's arm and Carlos Guillen's legs and every non-deity Tiger position player hitting over .250.

    So yes, the Tigers since all the injuries are suddenly bad. And people born after the Pirates' last winning season are graduating high school this year. This is why DonSpa et al. have given up on watching the real Pirates and takento using them as paper dolls (Next time you diss the Bucs, think of how many uniforms you've gotten directly due to the torture MLB puts these people through).

    N.E.Way...



    The Detroit Stars were one of the Rube Foster teams, known for awesomely named baseball greats like Turkey Stearns (above)(the greatest baseball player who ever lived that you've never heard of) and Bingo DeMoss. Plus Bruce Petway, the hardest catcher to steal on in baseball history (his arm was such that he threw to 2nd base from the squat and only missed if the ball came in so hot the shortstop dropped it).



    As for the Crawfords, well, understand Pittsburgh was to the Negro Leagues what New York was to MLB in the '50s and '60s. Various Negro Leagues came and went. One of the biggest comers in the early 1930s was Pittsburgh's second team (the Homestead Grays were the first). The Crawfords were probably the first free agent monster. Some of the greatest players in the history of baseball wore the red of Crawford's (a restaurant in the black side of town for which the team was name), including Judy Johnson, Cool Papa Bell, and Josh Gibson.

    Oh yeah, and from 1932-37 only the best pitcher -- probably the best Baseball Player -- who ever lived, and no this is not up for debate:



    No, people, not Dizzy, the guy who Dizzy said is the greatest pitcher who ever lived. Thazright.

    The files are called uniform_pip_away.iff (Pirates Normal Away) and uniform_det_home.iff (Detroit Home) but you can easily rename the files to fit in any uniform slot, e.g. uniform_det_cl1.iff to replace the classic Detroit uni, or uniform_pip_cl1.iff to stick it among classic Pirate uniforms. As usual, though, I highly recommend just getting Generic Mod Enabler because it is really easy to set up and then you can play Tigers/Pirates games with the like 100 different combinations available from this site.

    I think I'm gonna make the KC Monarchs next, unless someone else has a set they'd like to see.

    When Satchel Paige was retiring from his second career (the one in the Majors), a certain sportswriter after whom I have tried to mold my own writing career asked Satch to sum up his career. Said Paige, "Who's gonna straighten out 2,500 ballgames in my head? 'How many cow pastures you played on, Satchel?' they wanta know. How many bus rides you took? Who put the spike scars on your shinbone? Why is your feet flat? Who was it offered you $50 to pitch a triple-header that time?

    "Man, the past is a long and twisty road."

    Word, Satch.

    Detroit Stars:


    Pittsburgh Crawfords:

    69 downloads

       (1 review)

    7 comments

    Updated

  13. 07-18-2010 Roster AND Portrait Update

    These files will set the MLB rosters to official current rosters of 7/18/2010, and also change all of the portraits that MVP Modders have uploaded to date.

    For example, when you play as the Indians, you can see the pretty faces of guys like Carlos Santana before they take their talents somewhere other than Cleveland:



    They are NOT, and I repeat NOT for use to start a franchise with.

    NOT FOR FRANCHISES.

    Do not try to start a franchise with these rosters.

    If you try to start a franchise with these rosters, and then they don't work, please don't send me irate personal messages about how I crashed your game.

    They are NOT, and I repeat NOT for use to start a franchise with.


    I will try to continue to update the portrait file with the rosters as the year progresses, but the pain-in-the-butt-itude of doing so may prevent me.


    Step 1: BACK UP YouR FILES

    Step 2: Portrait.iff and portrait.cdf go in your MLB 2K10 folder, most likely C:\Program Files\2K Sports\MLB 2K10

    Step 3: Roster.ROS goes in your saves folder under Application Data. For Windows XP:

    C:\Documents and Settings\[YOUR USER NAME]\Application Data\2K Sports\Major League Baseball 2K10\Saves

    I used TyWiggins's editor to enter the players whose portraits didn't already appear. If you wish to do the same (e.g. if you want your ALREADY STARTED dynasty to use the portraits you just downloaded), here are the added players and their corresponding digits:

    5 Jeff Clement 9258
    9 Allen Craig 9005
    12 Ian Desmond 9058
    22 Brian Duensing 9305
    30 Jim Edmonds 9301
    33 Jaime Garcia 9201
    39 Craig Gentry 9001
    44 Andrew Oliver 9101
    48 Luke Gregerson 9254
    50 Mark Grudzielanek 9009
    60 Jason Heyward 9109
    65 Austin Jackson 9154
    81 Kenshin Kawakami 9209
    90 Brad Kilby 9150
    104 Mike Lamb 9250
    115 Rodrigo Lopez 9344
    119 Colby Lewis 9244
    123 Joe Mather 9019
    134 John Raynor 9044
    139 Ben Sheets 9219
    147 Scott Sizemore 9144
    149 Jay Sborz 9140
    162 Greg Smith 9040
    164 Craig Stammen 9240
    172 Steven Strasburg 9340
    176 Mitch Talbot 9248
    179 Jake Westbrook 441
    181 Jordan Zimmerman 9115
    192 Brennan Boesch 9315
    196 Pedro Alvarez 9148
    199 Argenis Diaz 9048
    201 OPEN 9215
    203 Brad Lincoln 9211
    213 OPEN 9311
    230 Jose Tabata 9064
    234 OPEN 9239
    237 Brad Thomas 9164
    237 Jeff Larish 9164
    238 Starlin Castro 9183
    238 Alfredo Figaro 9183
    247 Danny Worth 9264
    251 Ryan Strieby 9283
    255 Brent Dlugach 9260
    259 Enrique Gonzalez 9287
    268 Robbie Weinhardt 9187
    270 Hector Ambriz 9087
    275 Carlos Santana 9060
    280 Jason Donald 9335
    284 Frank Herrmann 9068

    The first number is its spot in the portrait file; the second number is what you have to change their portrait # to in the roster editor.

    689 downloads

       (0 reviews)

    3 comments

    Updated

  14. Portraits of People Who Have Yet to Take Their Talents Somewhere Other than Cleveland

    I would respond to that "at least we're not Detroit" but who am I kidding, we just got swept in a double-header by the Offensive Logoists. Plus, it's hard to be too down on those people right now after a certain member of the Millenial generation decided to seek better employment opportunities in a more up-and-coming city (because, this never happens, right?)

    This package includes a few Indians I added before launching my forthcoming Roster & Portrait update (and accompanying barrage of bile from people who don't read before they download, and then get mad at me because they can't start a franchise with them).

    Included:

    Jayson Nix: 1010
    Hector Ambriz (270)
    Carlos Santana (275)
    Jason Donald (280)
    Frank Herrmann (284)


    The number after Nix is his Portrait ID #. Those in parenthesis need to be added in a Roster Editor -- the numbers are just recommendations to keep with the aforementioned Roster and Portrait Update. You will need to download the NBA 2K10 Mod tool in order to import these images into your portraits.IFF file, and for all but Nix, you'll also need TyWiggin' Roster Editor to change these players' portrait ID locations (or just wait for my full roster file).

    To Install (I totally yanked this part from earlier posts):

    1: Create a backup of your existing portrait.iff and portrait.cdf files from your MLB2K10 installation directory
    2: Extract the contents of this ZIP file to the location of your choosing.
    3: Copy your portrait.iff AND portrait.cdf files from your MLB2K10 installation directory to the same directory to extrated these files to
    4: Launch the NBA 2K10 Mod Tool, click open, and browse to the copy of the portrait.iff file you just copied
    5: When prompted to decompress, select "Yes"
    6: Using the scroll bar in the top left pane, scroll to the portrait ID number corresponding to the player you wish to update
    7: Click on "Import Res" and select updated DDS file you extracted earlier
    8: Now to see the updated portrait in-game, copy the portrait.iff and portrait.cdf files from the location you copied it to before BACK to your MLB2K10 installation directory.
    9: Start the game and enjoy

    Note: You will not be able to complete step 8 above if the game is running. You will have to exit the game first.

    Note #2: Please refer to this post which lists all assigned and unassigned Portrait ID numbers. Pick a number that shows unassigned as the forum post shows then import the .dds file you wish to that specific number.

    Note #3: G-d hates Cleveland.

    105 downloads

       (0 reviews)

    3 comments

    Updated

  15. Royals Road Alts that Might Actually Beat White Sox Once

    So, this week the Tigers went 2/3 against the Twins, and had a 5-game win streak. Yet we suddenly, LOST first place in the AL Central?

    You know why this is happening?

    Because the Royals can't beat the White Sox on the road. At all. I heard they gave up like 200 runs last night, all to Carlos Quentin.



    Kittens, people. Thousands and thousands of cute cuddly kittens, dying because you choose a game that is of utmost importance to the Tigers to rest Zach Greinke's awwww shoulder so your replacement-level junkballers can can give up 15 runs to franchise dead weights like Andruw Jones and Alex Rios. KITTENS are DYING because of this!



    You'll notice that Mitch Maier, while watching yet another kitten-killing White Sox homer go over the fence, is wearing an outfit that doesn't appear in 2K10: a blue alt with gray pants.

    I could have simply made this and given it to you. But the real Royals have these road unis, and THEY can't seem to beat the White Sox in them. And since I know you all play MLB2K10 just to watch White Sox lose as much as possible, I didn't want to give you something that would make that possible.

    So here's two more road options for KC Royals.

    The first turns their grays into sky blues (and adds a much-needed white pipe on the legs), and I was happy with the result. The second turns the home royal blue alts into away alternates with gray pants. Also, the top shades to a different blue as it gets more distal(it's actually a dark version of the exact shade they use on the turquoise homes).

    Result:



    Step 1: Back up your files (uniform_kcr_alt_2.iff and uniform_kcr_away.iff).
    Step 2: Put these in the same spot
    Step 3: Start a game of the Royals at White Sox
    Step 4: Start Greinke.
    Step 5: BEAT THE FRIGGITY WHITE SOX!!!

    _away.iff:


    _alt_2.iff:


    Yes, I'm proud.

    You know what would make be prouder, though? IF THE F***ING ROYALS OR ANYBODY WOULD BEAT THE F***ING WHITE SOX!!@!

    112 downloads

       (0 reviews)

    2 comments

    Updated

  16. 1927-28-ish Detroit Tigers (Big Honkin' Sequel)

    The 1920s were a glorious, glorious age:


    If these seem familiar, it's because I previously posted a Tigers Uni alt with a BIG HONKIN' TIGER ON THE BACK.

    Um....that's TIGER, not PONY, mind you. Yes, Atlanta Braves pitcher Kris Medlen, I am talking to YOU:



    Since then, however, I've been tweaking. I made an away version. I pulled the pinstripes apart because back then teams couldn't afford nearly as many pinstripes. I put an EVEN LARGER BIG HONKIN' TIGER on the backs.



    Now, when I unveiled the originals, some of you, and some people I may or may not be marrying this year, said to me things like "Hey jerkoff the Tigers never wore their back logos nearly as big as you say they did." and "I like them but according to the Hall of Fame's Dressed to the Nines exhibit, the logos were much smaller and they wore them on the back in 1928, not 1927," and "Why don't you just try to like my cousin?"

    To all of you I say: 1) **** your cousin who waits 'till July to plan her shotgun wedding on the Saturday of Labor Day then expects us to cancel our entire vacation for it, and 2) I called MLB directly and they gave to me to show you the never-before-seen, absolutely official copy of the Tigers' officiously official 1927 uniforms:



    Ah, old time baseball...you were so darn colorful.*

    Why is this so important?

    Well, to recap: 1927 was a turning point in baseball. On one end, you had the Yankees, with Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig, and whole lot of that stuff that generally makes people detest Yankees.** They also unveiled a new baseball uniform element: numbers on the back.

    ------------------------

    * Sarcastic, ironic double-entendre intended.

    ** It's called wins.

    ------------------------

    In Detroit, however, even more murderous hitters were prowling the plate. Harry Heilman hit .398. THREE-NINETY-EIGHT BITCHES! Bob Fothergill hit .359. Charlie Gehringer, the mechanical man, was a machine. Heinie Manush was a pain in the tush. And the Tigers also unveiled a uniform element on the back: A BIG HONKIN' TIGER.

    It was this close people: either every team in the Majors -- nay, every sports team in the World -- was going to have player numbers or BIG HONKIN' TIGERS on their backs for ever and ever, and it all came down to which team won the 1927 American League Pennant. It was really close too. The Tigers finished only a hair's breath -- 27 1/2 games -- behind the Yankees (and the A's, and the Senators), and thus sportsmen today continue to wear numbers rather than big honkin' Tigers on their backs.

    A pity:



    Of course, it's a pity no longer, for you now possess the power to grace your Tigers' backs with BIG HONKIN' TIGERS, whether at home:



    Or away:



    Or sitting on your couch in a vest waiting for the imminent Earth-Sun Crash.



    Which would suck. But hey, at least the Yankees or Twins didn't get Cliff Lee, so....woohoo pennant chance lives!

    So you know, the files are uniform_det_away.iff and uniform_det_home.iff, and replace the regular Tigers' homes and aways. You can easily rename these files uniform_det_bph.iff and uniform_det_bpa.iff to replace the batting practice jerseys instead. Remember: Back **** up. It's the law.

    48 downloads

       (0 reviews)

    2 comments

    Updated

  17. Cleveland Anti-Americanist 1928 Uniforms

    [note: quick update (version 2) because I realized the base color was too gray, rather than the yellowy white I intended. Apologies to the two guys who downloaded already]

    Caveat: I am about to make a few statements here that some may deem bordering on political, and some may deem offensive, and some may deem disagreeable. Also, I should warn you that this post does use some rough language, including one sh--, two f--s, one a--, and one "pathetic squirt of vaginal discharge," but since all but one only occur in this opening introduction, you're passed them now. That said, please plant your tongue firmly in your cheek, and enjoy...

    Cleveland


    blows.


    A-s.

    Since 1928, in fact. And the reason for all of this blow-age atop suck-age atop Drew Carey-age? Well, ask the people of Cleveland (again, a url that is worth visiting).

    Now, every major deity in every major deity-book comes across as fairly reasonable. Merciless when angered, yes, but not without cause. That cause:





    Since putting that...that thing on their chests in 1928, the city has won a grand total of ONE championship.

    Uno.

    That championship: 1948, when Cleveland countered all of that karma by having Hank Greenberg buy the team, and then being the first squad in the AL to sign Negro League players. At this point, the deity or deities who control such things said "oh, hey, Cleveland's amending this lakeside mistake, let's reward them." But alas, the city kept wearing a big F.U. to their original fellow Americans, and then Drew Carey was born in 1958 and the big guy upstairs was like "Oh, that's how it's gonna be..." and then the Browns and the Cavaliers and the Indians...

    So yes, G-d or whatever higher power 85 percent of Clevelanders (-ites? -inmates?) are talking to when they get to Steps 2, 3, 5, 6 and 7 of 12 of Cleveland sports fandom, most assuredly hates Cleveland. And now you too can see why.

    Just remember: by downloading this uniform you absolve Misopogon of any and all damage to your person and property on account of smiting.


    43 downloads

       (0 reviews)

    0 comments

    Updated

  18. Unfettered: 1979 Chicago White Sox Home (Now in Blue)

    D-DAY UPDATE: As promised, blue away version now available as well!

    Many years ago, when EA Sports still made baseball games, I went to visit my best chum for a legendary Mets@Boston, Mets@Yankees, Pirates@Mets baseball trip over a long July 4 weekend. The key to this was me being able to work from his apartment in SoHo on Friday. That Friday, I awoke, climbed out of bed, and proceeded to have the most productive day of my career.

    The key: not once, from 8:30 a.m. till 5:30 p.m., did I ever put on pants.

    When my buddy came home I related how, clad only in a t-shirt, boxer briefs and fluffy bunny feet,* I had managed to complete a yeoman's share of tasks. And together we envisioned a Seinfeld Episode:

    Unfettered.



    Our episode takes place while George is working for the Yankees. Elayne is dating a prolific author who puts out a 1,000-page novel twice a year. His secret, which he divulges to the group: he always writes "unfettered." Jerry tries it to quickly write new jokes when he realizes he will be playing two nights in a row to the same audience.

    At the Diner, the group discusses which areas are "pants free zones," and which areas require one, even in private, to always wear pants.

    Kramer of course picks up on this too and suddenly becomes very productive, revisiting and accomplishing many of his cockamamie schemes from previous episodes. This also means he is constantly coming into Jerry's apartment "unfettered," to get foods.

    This is a problem for Jerry, who is dating a pastor's daughter who is very very prudish and freaks out at the sight of people not wearing pants (catching Jerry is strike 1, after which he assures her his apt is not a "Pants Free Zone").

    Meanwhile, George has been working like a madman, as the Yankees are pulling of a gazillion trades at the trade deadline and he must do all sorts of scouting reports. He can't keep up, and every time he manages to go home, i.e. Jerry's place, he is called back into work.

    The author, too, is falling behind, since he is spending so much time with Elayne (his publisher is demanding the next book). Hoping to catch up, he drops trou in Jerry's apartment and gets to work there, which is the last straw for Jerry's girlfriend when she comes in and sees it (and thus decides Jerry's apt is a pants-free zone).

    Finally, we go back to George at the Yankees office. It's 1 a.m. and he still has more than 7 hours left of work. He looks around the empty office, drops trou, and gets to work. He is discovered the next morning, passed out at his desk with his pants down.

    At the end of the episode, we see Steinbrenner (from the back of course), reviewing George's massive report, and as the camera zooms out we see clearly the source of all the trade activity: Steinbrenner has been working "unfettered."**

    This was our idea for an episode. If you've followed the clues above you will already know that Seinfeld was no longer airing.

    I bring it up now because I later realized that we were hardly the first people to realize that working "unfettered" increases productivity:



    Bill Veeck (rhymes with "neck"), genius. Untucked t-shirt, knees and leg hair freed to breathe -- inspirational!

    Unfortunately, increased productivity does not allow one to do the impossible. Alas, no 1974 White Sox unis. But I got the next best thing: 1979 unis:





    The files are uniform_chw_cl1.iff (white on white, replaces the Classic home), uniform_chw_cl2.iff (blue on blue, replaces Classic away), and uniform_chw_alt_1.iff (blue on white, replaces alternate).

    To use them, BACK UP YOUR FILES, and then place the .iff files in this zip in your folder.

    If more than 20 people download this, I'll make the blue aways.

    And remember: even working unfettered, it is not okay for the White Sox to win. Think of the kittens.









    ------------------
    * Cold floors
    ** His boxers had little Yankee logos.

    64 downloads

       (0 reviews)

    0 comments

    Updated

  19. 05-21-2010 Roster AND Portrait Update

    These files will set the MLB rosters to official current rosters of 5/21/2010, and also change all of the portraits that MVP Modders have uploaded to date.

    For example, rookie Austin Jackson's portrait will appear in all of its awesome glory when you play with the Tigers.



    and Curtis Granderson...[sob]...will STILL be wearing...a Yankee hat. Unless....





    (good blog where I got that from: http://roarofthetigers.wordpress.com)

    They are NOT, and I repeat NOT for use to start a franchise with. If you wish to start a franchise with current rosters and still use this mod, I will tell you below how to do that, but it's complicated.

    Let me write that again in bold.

    They are NOT, and I repeat NOT for use to start a franchise with.

    Next time I'm busting out <h1> tags. Don't think I won't do it.

    I will try to continue to update the portrait file with the rosters as the year progresses, but the pain-in-the-butt-itude of doing so may prevent me.


    Step 1: BACK UP YouR FILES

    Step 2: Portrait.iff and portrait.cdf go in your MLB 2K10 folder, most likely C:\Program Files\2K Sports\MLB 2K10

    Step 3: Roster.ROS goes in your saves folder under Application Data. For Windows XP:

    C:\Documents and Settings\[YOUR USER NAME]\Application Data\2K Sports\Major League Baseball 2K10\Saves



    Now, if you want to start a franchise with the current rosters, DO NOT replace your Roster.ROS file, just the Portrait files.

    Allow MLB2K10 to download the current rosters.

    Next, start your franchise, and save it.

    Close MLB2K10

    Now, you will need tywiggins' roster editor. In the roster editor, open your newly created franchise.

    Now find the following players and change their "Portrait" value to the following:

    Jeff Clement 9258
    Allen Craig 9005
    Ian Desmond 9058
    Brian Duensing 9305
    Jim Edmonds 9301
    Jaime Garcia 9201
    Craig Gentry 9001
    Luke Gregerson 9254
    Mark Grudzielanek 9009
    Jason Heyward 9109
    Austin Jackson 9154
    Kenshin Kawakami 9209
    Brad Kilby 9150
    Mike Lamb 9250
    Rodrigo Lopez 9344
    Colby Lewis 9244
    Joe Mather 9019
    John Raynor 9044
    Ben Sheets 9219
    Scott Sizemore 9144
    Greg Smith 9040
    Craig Stammen 9240
    Steven Strasburg 9340
    Mitch Talbot 9248
    Jake Westbrook 441
    Jordan Zimmerman 9115
    Brennan Boesch 9315
    Brad Thomas 9164
    Starlin Castro 9183
    Aroldis Chapman 9264

    Chapman is in, but since he isn't in the official rosters yet you have to create a player then change the portrait to that number. Of course, to care you would probably be a Reds fan, in which case, dude, Opening Day is over, man; how do the Bengals look this year?

    I tried this method twice and played two games (both spring training) without getting the crash to desktop. Let me know if you have problems and I will change the README file to not mention the thing about starting a franchise anymore.

    1,050 downloads

       (3 reviews)

    18 comments

    Updated

  20. 1945 Detroit Tigers Roadies

    So in 1938, with a week left to go on the season, Hank Greenberg, the "Hebrew Hammer," was sitting at 58 home runs. The record at the time: 60, by Babe. So Hank's mother promised him, if he hit 61 home runs, she would make him 61 gefilte fish.

    Hank didn't hit another home run all season.

    He and I have the exact same feelings on gefilte fish. The differences between us:

    1. He could hit
    2. He got to wear these cool kits for most of his career.

    Did you click on the opening image? Yes, it's textured. UPDATE: Version 2 now gets the wool/synthetic knit look down: Textured Uniforms ho!



    This is the Detroit Tigers' 1940s away jerseys. The "Health" patch on the sleeve was supposedly worn by every MLB team during the war, but photos show the Tigers wearing a different but similar patch.



    See Eddie Mayo.



    Whatever.

    We won the war that summer, and won the World Series that summer, and Hal Newhouser and Hammerin Hank and Go Tigers.



    Also, we had a guy on the 1945 Tigers named Dizzy Trout, which: awesome.

    For a list of many more funny Tiger names, see my post on Bless You Boys.


    88 downloads

       (0 reviews)

    2 comments

    Updated

  21. Red Sox Green Jersey That Matches Green Monster But Has Red Socks (plus fixed away alt too)

    For this file description, I would like to ask the assistance of a member of the audience...

    Ooh, pick me!

    Okay, that guy, step right up.

    Sweet. [waves] Hi honey!

    Okay, sir, please tell the audience your name.

    I am the Bolded Subconscious Alternate Personality of Misopogon.

    Now, have you and I ever met before?

    No. That's not how multiple personality disorder works.

    So, Bolded Subconscious Dual Personality Guy, I'm going to say a word, and you are going to tell me the first thing that pops into your head, and it's going to be the same thing the entire audience is thinking too. Ready?

    Ready.

    Okay, here goes: Red Sox.

    Red feet?

    No.

    Ummm...red arms?

    No.

    Those red marks you get on your legs from reading on the toilet?

    No, and thanks for the imagery.

    Okay, I give up.

    It's a Green Monster.

    ... what?

    I said: Green Monster.

    Like this?


    No, actually, it's more like a wall in their stadium. Like this:


    Why would they call a wall at the stadium of a team with "Red" in its name the "Green Monster?"

    It's a quirk.

    Oh, I get it: like those weird things they're putting in new stadiums for no discernible reason whatsoever, like swimming pools and carousels and luxury boxes in Detroit and the like."

    No, dude, this stadium's been around since, literally, the week Titanic sank.

    Shut-up, not everyone's seen that movie yet - don't spoil the ending. So it's tradition. I get that.

    Yes.

    But it's green. And the team wears Red. Isn't there something we can do about this?

    I'm glad you asked.



    Whoa, it's like...a Red Sox uniform...except it's.....Green! That's amazing!

    Yep. And guess what it replaces?

    Those ugly red alternate home jersey that they got back when like every team in MLB -- even those who don't have red in their kits -- decided they needed red alternate jerseys?

    No. Those stay. These replace the home batting practice alternates (uniform_bor_bph.iff).

    Like Christmas in July! So that's cool. They have a quirky green wall in their stadium that's as old as James Cameron's directorial career, but they also have Red Socks, so they use both as their primary colors.

    Umm...actually, their other color is blue.

    Blue...

    Blue.

    Blue?

    Blue.

    Like the royal blue that MLB 2k10 has them wearing in their road alternates?

    No, more like the navy blue Mod that I have included in the zip package that replaces the alternate road uniforms.



    I like it. Question, though:

    Shoot.

    Why didn't they just paint the wall red?

    Now who's being ridiculous?


    173 downloads

       (0 reviews)

    0 comments

    Submitted

  22. 2009 Mets Black Alternates (Actually, it's the Buffalo Bisons, get it?)

    Did you know:

    The Buffalo Bisons of Buffalo are from Buffalo.

    The Buffalo Bisons of Buffalo (We're from Buffalo!) are normally the AAA affiliate of the New York Mets, but occasionally, they double as the actual New York Mets...



    Trust me, you want to click this







    Pretty neat huh?



    They replace the home and away for Buffalo, the Mets' minor league franchise. I made them because I was bored of the whites while stuck in AAA (I refuse to improve my stamina, the club refuses to promote me, and I've got Scott Boras handling it (actually just biding my time while trying to avoid the glitch that kills your My Player).

    Bonus: Extra special super secret never worn Mets alt in there (it's the old "New York" aways with Mr. Met on the sleeve -- was my first mod)





    Also: they're from Buffalo.




    44 downloads

       (1 review)

    2 comments

    Updated

  23. 04-10-2010 Roster AND Portrait update.zip

    These files will set the MLB rosters to official current rosters of 4/30/2010, and also change all of the portraits that MVP Modders have uploaded to date.

    For example, rookie Austin Jackson's portrait will appear in all of its awesome glory when you play with the Tigers, and Curtis Granderson...[sob]...will be wearing...[shudder] a Yankee hat (Oh the wrongness!)



    (image from Samara Pearlstein's blog, "Roar of the Tigers." If you like my mods, please give her some link love).

    By the way, it's 50 megs, so...yeah.

    I will try to continue to update the portrait file with the rosters as the year progresses, but the pain-in-the-butt-itude of doing so may prevent me.


    Step 1: BACK UP YouR FILES

    Step 2: Portrait.iff and portrait.cdf go in your MLB 2K10 folder, most likely C:\Program Files\2K Sports\MLB 2K10

    Step 3: Roster.ROS goes in your saves folder under Application Data. For Windows XP:

    C:\Documents and Settings\[YOUR USER NAME]\Application Data\2K Sports\Major League Baseball 2K10\Saves


    FYI, the unused spaces I used to put in rookies and returnerswere as follows:

    5 = Jeff Clement
    9 = Allen Craig
    12 = Ian Desmond
    22 = Brian Duensing
    30 = Jim Edmonds
    33 = Jamie Garcia
    39 = Craig Gentry
    48 = Luke Gregerson
    50 = Mark Grudzielanek
    65 = Austin Jackson
    81 = Kensihin Kawakami
    90 = Brad Kilby
    104 = Mike Lamb
    115 = Rodrigo Lopez
    119 = Colby Lewis
    123 = Joe Mather
    134 = John Raynor
    139 = Ben Sheets
    147 = Scott Sizemore
    162 = Greg Smith
    164 = Craig Stammen
    172 = Steven Strasburg
    176 = Mitch Talbot
    179 = Jake Westbrook
    181 = Jordan Zimmerman
    192 = Brennan Boesch

    707 downloads

       (2 reviews)

    10 comments

    Updated

  24. 1919 White Sox in white socks (Three-pack)

    Because you asked...

    The Chicago White Sox are probably the most misnomer-ed team in MLB.

    Case in point, these guys are called "White Sox:"



    But these guys are called "Black Sox:"



    Also, the third guy from the left, who is clearly wearing leather coverings on his feet, was called "Shoeless."

    Accurate in lower-body wear this franchise is not.

    You know the story. You've seen the movie.



    The 1919 White Sox were a stellar collection of baseball talent, a mix of the motley superstars returning from WWI and some great, clean-cut guys Charles Comiskey acquired in the interim. Problem is, they all didn't get along so well, and some of the less clean-cut guys, who were making very little compared to the players who had joined since they left, jumped on 1st baseman Chick Gandil's plan to throw the World Series. Among the guys thrown out of baseball after the throwers got caught was "Shoeless" Joe Jackson, one of the best young players in the game. Kennesaw Mountain Landis, baseball's first commissioner and a guy who is very unlikely to be found in heaven, decided that those implicated, even Buck Weaver, who refused to take part in the fix, and Joe Jackson, who teammates admit was not part of it (they gave his name to gamblers to increase their claim), would never be seen in a Major League park again.

    Until now...



    I made three versions of this: Home, Away, and Home alt:


    uniform_chw_home.iff = Pinstriped Home
    uniform_chw_away.iff = pinstriped grays
    uniform_chw_alt_1.iff = no pinstripes home


    To use them, BACK UP YOUR FILES, and then place the .iff files in this zip in your folder.

    I also included the 1917-1918 flag patches worn during WWI (the White Sox kept wearing them well into 1919 because they didn't get new uniforms until the middle of the season). I could have made 100, when you take into account all the DIY changes to buttons and whatnot that photos of this era showed. Apparently, Comiskey was too cheap to have the uniforms cleaned or repaired. Example (note the black button replacement).

    Remember, please use these kits responsibly. Though you may look awesome wearing these, that does not make it okay for the Wrong Sox to ever, ever win.



    Think of the kittens.








    67 downloads

       (0 reviews)

    1 comment

    Updated

  25. 1924 Washington Senators home and road (a Twins alt)

    First in war, first in peace, and last in the American League.

    Until 1924. That's when the Sens finally got one for the Big Train, Walter Johnson.

    Whaddaya say, Joe Martina?



    Ehhhhhhh.

    It took them a red-hot September and 12 innings into Game 7, but Washington finally prevailed. And amazingly, they did it wearing the most boring uniforms ever:



    Note the lack of any names or numbers on the back. Note the sparse pinstripes of the home. Note the extraordinary "W" logo which had to have taken a team of D.C. graphic artists months to come up with.

    Yet there's more to these unis than crushing ennui. Like really nice texture for the thick woolen flannels they used to wear. And, um, well it's got nice texture.

    Someone made these unis for 2k9:



    Also: there was a catcher on the Twins before Joe Mauer, but do you really care?

    These files replace the normal home and away uniforms for the Minnesota Twins. If you would like to put them in another uniform spot, rename the files:

    uniform_mit_home.iff = Normal Home uniform
    Uniform_mit_away.iff = Normal Road Unis
    uniform_mit_bph.iff = Home batting practice
    uniform_mit_bpa.iff = Road batting practice
    uniform_mit_cl1.iff = Home classic
    uniform_mit_cl1.iff = Road classic

    If you want to use these as alts for the Washington Nationals instead, in the file name where it says "mit" just change that to "wan".

    And yes, I know that punctuation goes inside quotation marks. Me and the guy who writes Alternate 1985 are having that out right now. We'll let the world know when we've decided on it.

    Anyhoo, this being a readme, I guess it's supposed to be helpful. So here's some helpful hints:

    1. BACK UP YOUR FILES BEFORE PUTTING THESE IN.

    which, duh.

    2. DOWNLOAD GENERIC MOD ENABLER and read up how to use it. This makes it really easy to, say, decide really quick if you want to have the 1924 Sens and 1928 Tigers play each other, but don't want to change file names.




    128 downloads

       (0 reviews)

    0 comments

    Updated

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